People, Films and Books that shaped me Part 4: Good Will Hunting

This film!

I absolutely love this film. I can't believe that this film is soon to be 20 years old in December. I didn’t watch the film in the cinema, in fact I didn’t watch this film until a few years later, but the impact it has had, has lasted my lifetime.

Who doesn’t wish to be a prodigy and have the world at their fingertips? Everyone has a desire to be great at something and not have to work at it, but that isn’t what this film is about. This film is about the struggle of dealing with your issues and being able to trust in people. Have faith in people, believe in people. To be able to take a risk and open yourself to the possibility of failure in the pursuit of happiness. This is a film about someone struggling to believe that they are deserving happiness; of being loved. In fear that they will be rejected again; abandoned again.

There was a point where I had the realisation that I push people away before they hurt me. It was something I always knew, but it was when I watched this film, that it clicked for me. I already knew that I kept people from getting close to me by only letting get to know me only so well. I didn’t let people in. The friendships I had come from being fun to be around, and that was because I was humorous. It was a safety mechanism that allowed me to feel liked by people, but it didn’t build sustaining friendships and so when they ran their course, I knew it was because I didn’t put enough into them. Yes, I was still upset, but ultimately I knew the reasoning why, and it was down to me, and so I it was easier to be upset with myself, than to be upset with others and be left not knowing why.

This film, and the issues it addressed and dealt with, really was good for me on my journey of self-discovery, along with other factors, definitely had a hand in the process in helping me make me the man I am today.